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Tuesday, November 3, 2009

What's Done Is Done

I love to write and often my ideas come at the most inopportune times...such as while I'm at work. Seeing as I used to spend 40+ hours behind a desk, my mind was constantly living vicariously through my thoughts. Years ago, I came up with a remedy for this. I set up a Yahoo! email account that I alone knew the address to. If I happened to be sitting behind my computer at work and had an idea or two, I would shoot myself a quick email bearing a paragraph of my musings. It served as the equivalent to a journal you would carry with you everywhere, and I used it often. Sometimes several times a day before I started blogging.

At times I would spend hours writing and saved it all there.

I just decided to log into my account to read some of my old stuff and felt suddenly sick when I received a notice saying that because I hadn't signed in for 4 months, Yahoo had deleted my account and all emails within permanently. In the grand scheme of things, I know it isn't a big deal, but it's one of those unexpected blows that hit where it hurts. Stored in that account where things that meant alot to me. I used that account for so long, I honestly don't even know what all I lost. Maybe that's a blessing in disguise.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Southern Sweet Tea

You know you're from the South when, after Jesus, the first thing you can't live without is good ol' southern sweet tea. Somehow there's something so soothing about an ice cold glass of tea (with just a hint of sugar) on a hot fall day. Maybe it's the memories that encourage the attachment; rarely does a kid grow up anywhere in the lower US without haven't been raised on this concoction! And so I sit here, sipping my tea, curled up in a cozy chair next to french doors out of which I can see the brilliant blue skies, bright green foliage and reddish orange flowers growing out of control above the neighbor's fence. I'd rather be outside, but at 90+ degrees, I'll content myself to work within view of this fall, Florida day.

I've been home for about 6 weeks and still haven't sent out my update letter about Costa Rica. Yesterday I met up with Laurie to get a batch of pictures from my first summer team and, now, have everything I need to finally finish my project. I'm working on a slideshow/video of pictures in iMovie to go along with my letter. I've never done anything besides briefly play around with this program, so I'm learning as I go. Granted, it would probably be easier to ask for help, but my bull-headed determination has kicked in once again.

As in so many things, I ask myself if anyone out there has made a successful movie with this program? Yes? Well, then, I can do it too. Case closed. It's kind of funny when you stop yourself long enough to evaluate your own thought processes. Sitting here, it occurred to me that this has been my mantra since I was a little girl. If someone out there has done it before, then I can do it again. And, I'll admit, it's shaped my character quite a bit. I'm not sure where it came from, but it permeates my life; in design, many times, I would have an idea for a logo or element yet have no idea how to bring it to life on the computer screen. I would sit there...staring at my Mac and dialoging with myself. "Has anyone ever designed something like this before?" Yes. "Well then, the program is capable. So are you." And so minutes, or at times, days later I would sit back with satisfaction and gaze at the finished product. Maybe I took the most unconventional route possible to create my design, maybe I tried 20 different times and failed, but innovation paired with determination is a pretty strong driving force.

So, I'll figure it out eventually... back to work I go! Be looking for my little video soon.

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

One Of The Hardest Things About Faith...

is that people always think you're crazy. Always. I wish I didn't worry about what people think, but sometimes I do. And that, is my problem. So many times the Lord has asked me to trust Him for something that completely goes against logic. Actually every time the Lord has asked me to trust Him for something, it's been completely absurd. And yet, He's never once failed me!

So why is it still so hard to hear hints of carefully concealed doubt or see the dreaded eyebrow of a much loved friend or family member raise skeptically? The thing that frustrates me is that in every one of these situations, what God is asking is NOT what I want. If His "requests" always mysteriously fell in line with what I wanted then I would be the first in line asking questions.

Although nothing can change my mind when I know God is speaking to me, I think He's trying to remove the chains urging me to desire approval of men. To keep on following even when no one is there to cheer me on. There are several things right now that I'm trusting Him for...things that are impossible except for that little whisper speaking peace into my heart. I can't wait for the day when I can tell these stories!

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Australia Pictures...

Sunday, September 27, 2009

Stamp #19

In May, I began "planning" a spontaneous dream vacation to Australia...Travelzoo offered a deal that I just couldn't resist and it only took about 3 seconds for me to decide I couldn't pass it up: $480 roundtrip from LA to Sydney is virtually unheard of! Now four months later, I'm sitting on the floor at LAX after spending a week and a half in what is my now-favorite big city. Imagine NYC...but a cleaner, prettier, bigger version lacking the smells that insist on lingering from years past; a city filled with people bearing charming accents.

My time in the Land Down Under was hardly the "dream" I thought it would be. Seeing as I am horrible with geography, I daydreamed about my trip having no idea how big the country really is. What I thought would be short drives from Sydney to the Great Barrier Reef, the Outback and all the other places on my list were, in fact, 36 hour+ road trips. Getting to Cairns from Sydney is the equivalent of flying from Miami to Canada...with a price tag to match!

Determination to at least make it to the Great Barrier Reef was quickly squelched when I couldn't get the logistics to pan out. After trying for days, I reluctantly resigned myself to the fact that not only would I not be crisscrossing the country, meeting any Aborigines, braving the Outback or surfing in Perth, I would also not be diving the reef...or even seeing it. I'll admit it was hard to fight the disappointment I felt at losing a dream I'd carried for a long time. While Sydney is an amazing city...I'm not a big city girl. I can enjoy it briefly, but unless I have a reason for being there, I quickly find myself bored. Maybe if I'd had a "purpose" it would have been easier for me. I realized while there, that while I've traveled a bit, this was my first time out of the country for a vacation. Every other trip has been a missions trip... helping and serving people and I suppose I'm just more comfortable with that. Nevertheless, you live and learn, and I saw much that many people will never see. I'm thankful to have been able to go...

During our trip, we stayed at the Sheraton in Darling Harbour, 790 on George (a fun little hostel which was unexpectedly paid for by Lisa's mom) and the Westin in Los Angeles. Baggage fees were waived at airports and we were allowed to check into our rooms hours early at all 3 places, we were upgraded to rooms with incredible views for no reason and the Westin & Sheraton were both booked because of a hotel wrongly charging my card for a business trip I'd taken over a year ago! We saw the Harbour Bridge, the Sydney Opera House, went up in the Sydney Tower, took monorails, trains, buses, ferries and taxis all over the city. We walked for miles and explored Paddy's Market, the Wharf, Circular Quay, the Royal Botanical Gardens (where I saw a treeful of bats), Darling Harbour, Sydney Aquarium and Surray Hills. We went to the famous Bondi Beach, laid out and watched wetsuit clad surfers enjoying the freezing waves...we took a ferry to Manly Beach (complete with shark net!) and learned that Aussie men use the same pick up lines as men all over the world. We saw koalas, kangaroos, wallabees and wombats and survived the Red Dust Storm that hit the city so hard it was broadcast across the globe. I spent a day by myself in the Gardens, which reminds me of Central Park, sitting in the sun and writing. We ate an amazing gluten-free pizza, spinach risotto with pumpkin sauce and another pasta dish that was incredible, gelato, pancakes with ice cream (who would have thought?!) and sipped coffee in little street cafes. I stood out more than I ever have in my life in this city full of Asians and Australians. Not once did I see another "Latin" person....although on my last day in the city, I spotted one girl that may have been able to pass for one. My "accent" was adorable and I was mistaken for a "Kiwi" which is apparently a New Zealander. I was later told that I actually kind of look like a "Maori" (native New Zealander)...moldy? Yes, moldy. "Moldy?!" Yes, moldy. M-A-O-R-I. Moldy. Ha.

My highlight was being able to go to Hillsongs Church...something I've wanted to do since I was in my early teens. We sang a song that I've never heard before but can't forget although I don't remember any of the words and have no idea how to find it! (If someone can explain how a song can be stuck in your head without a tune or even any lyrics to accompany it, please share.)

The last day of our trip, we shopped for souvenirs and then went back to the hostel to strategically pack out bags so that they wouldn't be overweight with all the added "goods". As we packed, unfamiliar accents carried through the hallways of the second floor and the walls shook from constant thuds. Lisa poked her head out of the door several times to figure out who or what it was but each time, we missed the perpetrators. Finally she yanked open the door to catch two guys, who we later found out to be Moritz from Ireland and Matt from New Zealand, standing in the hallway with red faces and holding rugby balls. She asked where they were from and next thing we knew, Lisa and I were on opposing teams racing up and down 7 flights of stairs playing hallway rugby, laughing until we couldn't breathe, cheating(!) and sweating like crazy. After playing for over an hour, we all went out front to cool off on the street where Matt proceeded to pass the rugby ball to busy passerbys rushing toward home after a long day at work. As his yells of "good job, mate!" and "you're a natural!" drifted over the crowd, we watched in amazement as this energetic barefoot young "Kiwi" had even the stuffiest of strangers cracking smiles and joining the game. At least several dozen stopped to lean against the wall in front of the building to watch....and not one person could help the smile creeping over their face or the laughter that inevitably came. I curiously watched this person I had just met, wondering if Jesus had been the same way. Magnetic.

After Lisa and I had returned from dinner and started packing once again, we heard a knock on the door. Apparently there was a huge rivalry in rugby going on in Sydney that night and our new friends invited us to watch the game. We took a break for the second time that day after which I decided that rugby is MUCH more interesting than American football! As we chatted, I learned that this interesting stranger works for Amnesty International fighting for human rights: child soldiers in Uganda, sex slaves in Thailand and children in the slums of India. The game was over before we knew it and as we arrived at the hostel we parted ways as quickly as we had met...yet for some reason I have a feeling I won't soon forget this Matt from New Zealand. I can't stop thinking about the fact that he is living how I want to live: out in the open and not caring what people think of me but rather focusing all of my attention on others. Shouldn't we be the type of people that draw others towards the light inside of us...where they can't help but smiling, laughing, feeling instantly accepted and desiring to be in our presence...even if they don't at first know why? Perhaps out of everything I saw during my time in Australia, it was this lesson that I was most thankful for.